If you do wot I say ...

I just found this partly-penned gem. Clearly Argy has been putting his new-found writing skills into practice.

As Einstein so famously said, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot."

I can only guess how this would have ended if Argy knew more words.

A bolt of fabric

Earlier this year, when I made this bed cover as a gift, I learned a number of important things about fabric and bolts.

For example: I learned that you can't waltz into your local purveyor of fine fabrics and request 11 metres of their best. No siree.

Apparently your standard bolt in a patchwork store is liable to hold far less. And you will need to buy shorter pieces of different prints and do something called sewing to join them into a bed cover.

Just between you and I, I've heard that some people do this kind of thing just for fun. Sheesh, it takes all kinds, huh?


Prints by Tanya Whelan for Free Spirit - Delilah collection

But more importantly, I learned that a bolt is actually something your 4-year-old is liable to do whilst you are puzzling (in the aforementioned fabric store) over which prints go together and in what combination and quantity.

Yes, this sort of bolt compels you to run up and down the aisles, with eyes wide and bellowing your child's name like a fishwife.

The sort where other customers are liable to look and think ... Sheesh, it takes all kinds, huh?


This post brought to you as part of Blogtoberfest - October's blogging festival.

From the more-is-more school of thought

A book of temporary tattoos.
A stealthy 4-year-old.
Four matching limbs.

Tatts a lot of body art.

This post brought to you as part of Blogtoberfest - October's blogging festival.

A birthday cake epilogue (or "Happy Mothers Day")

"I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids."
Source: Unknown

Its Mother's Day: the perfect day to write a little epilogue to the story of the Octonaut's birthday cake.


I received such lovely, generous comments to last week's birthday cake post, that I thought I ought to set the record a little straighter. Here, friends, is the reality ...

• The cake was made with a commercial packet mix
  
• The cake fell apart when I turned it out of the tin - who the heck gets a packet mix wrong?
  
• I swore a lot made a polite exasperated sound
  
• I made another packet mix cake
  
• The bottom fell off the cake - what kind of clown gets two packet mixes wrong?
  
• I ran out of packet mixes. More swearing.
  
• I had to glue the cake back together with fondant icing - a shedload of icing.
  
• There was a disproportionate (and unfavourable) cake-to-icing ratio
  
  
  
  
• The Octonauts decorations were really tricky to construct. I am afflicted with sausage-fingers. I spilt purple food dye down a cupboard. I glared at anyone who approached the kitchen. I spent more time on the cake, than I did holding the party. I swore a lot.
  
• I don't think anyone actually liked eating the cake. Even the small children. That's saying something .... small children will eat anything inanimate labelled cake.
  
• Not long after the party finished, I found Bargy breaking all the Octonaut decorations into small pieces (Look mum, I made a jigsaw). They were only icing. But I cried anyway.

This has been a real blog post from a real mum. All the rest that you see here at Hoppo Bumpo is nice camera angles and the use of a thesaurus.

A very happy Mothers Day to all the mums out there. (Remember: smoke-and-mirrors are your friends.)

Liesl xx

Octo-what?

Argy recently turned 6 and, as is our custom, placed a request for a special birthday cake. I held my breath. The Octonauts, he declared.

Whew. The Octonauts - a crew of storybook (and now animated) animals who roam the ocean and have adventures - are pretty cute. They would be fun to do.

But then Argy added the qualifier: the Octopod please, mum.

If you are unfamiliar with the Octonauts, may I present the four-armed, glass-domed under-water vehicle they call the Octopod.


Source: The Octonauts

Dear reader, is this a shape that really says cake to you?

Er, non?

After negotiations about the design (where its rumoured I resorted to half-truths about not having the right food colouring to make the Octopod) we decided upon some of the Octonaut characters and an underwater scene.

So we fashioned Captain Barnacles, Kwasi Cat and Peso Penguin (top photo) along with ...



... seaweed and coral ...



... and wee fish, stars and a 6 ...



... and came up with this instead.



Its not quite the Octopod, but Argy was very happy with it.

NB. If you're the gambling type, I'm opening the books and taking bets on possible 7th birthday cake requests: a watch mechanism; the planetary system; a Harrier jump jet; and Brighton Pavilion.

Lanes

I had to run some errands in the city yesterday, so Argy came along and we made a bit of a day of it. After admiring the treasure-troves at Tessuti and Cake Deco, we spent some time exploring Melbourne's quirky city lanes.

My favourite was Presgrave Place (above) where we found this ramshackle red couch and art prints hung along the brick walls.

I would have felt quite at home in this alley, if it weren't for Argy standing holding his nose disdainfully: eeewwww ... who's making that awful stink mum? (Er, perhaps more like home than I thought).



In Hosier Place, Argy enjoyed blending into the surrounds. We spent ages admiring the amazing artwork. A lovely time had by all.

(Note to self: must remember to reiterate that crayon on walls at home does not fall within the bounds of street art).

Washi out

Please choose the correct response ...

This lovely new Japanese washi masking tape:

1. is a unique craft and design product
2. will have an abundance of creative and decorative uses
3. will most likely have its life cut short (please refer Exhibit A, below)

Yes: two boys and a roll of (non-washi) masking tape. The elder completely taped to the chair.

I was forced to intervene at the end of this game, when I overheard Bargy saying to his older brother "Now Argy, you will have to be a brave boy".

I'll leave you to imagine where the scissors were poised.


MT masking tape
10 pack - pastels
10m x 15mm

Three cheers

It was five year-old Argy's first day at primary school today. He was very excited and it all went well. His younger brother - four year-old Bargy - starts kindergarten this Wednesday.

Some days the boys will be at school and kindergarten ... at the same time.

The house will be quiet won't it?



Yipppppeeeee!



Hip-hip-hooray!



[Insert sound of clinking glasses, party tooters and marching band here]

Wooohooooooo!

Overheard

Argy: Hey Bargy, look at this red flower.

Bargy: [prods centre] What do you think the middle is made out of?

Argy: [confidently] Its black fabric.

Bargy: Wow.

I can see how easily the rumour that the moon is made of cheese started.

An elephant birthday cake {Blogtoberfest day 24}

Here is Bargy's 4th birthday cake depicting (as requested) his cuddly elephant, Ellie (below).



I fashioned the sugary Ellie using Wilton's Ready-To-Use Gumpaste. Its quite pricey in Australia, but is easy to work with and sets very well.

The hardest part was trying to reproduce Ellie's sad mottled grey-blue, saggy appearance. (Her replica is possibly just a hair's-breadth away from being Cake Wrecks-worthy).

Happy birthday, Bargy {Blogtoberfest day 20}

Bargy ...



... master of disguise ...



... and wanton vandal ...



... is 4 today.



Now if you could excuse me, I think you'll see the necessity for investigating why its gone so quiet downstairs.

The red button {Blogtoberfest day 9}

The boys and I were out and about in the car this afternoon. During a lull in the requisite and relentless back-seat squabbling Argy called out. Hey mum, what's that red button for?

"The one on the dash?" I said nonchalantly "Why that's the eject button."

Er, yes I know. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I shouldn't have. I know that. But somehow I just couldn't stop.

The boys were fascinated. And I was on a roll.

When quizzed as to the function of an Eject Button I sort of described how it could be used to jettison back-seat passengers from the car. Through the roof.

Well I can tell you now, that there were no more fights on the way home. It was quiet. So very quiet. Especially when I went to tune the radio.

Ellie {Blogtoberfest day 6}

Meet Ellie. Apparently she is having a birthday in a few weeks.

Unfortunately her outward appearance is a complete misrepresentation of her age. Despite looking like she has been smoking Gauloises and swigging back gin for the better part of forty years, Ellie is only going to be four.

She's had a hard life. But is the much treasured friend of a small boy who will soon also turn four.

The small boy asked if I could draw a birthday picture of Ellie. So here she is in her glory days. Back when she could still hold her head high (... being as there was still stuffing in her neck).



The small boy has asked for this picture to be recreated as a birthday cake. Yep, sure. That will be right before I have cause to take up the Gauloises and gin.

The circus is in town

Last week Argy, Bargy and I visited the circus. It was a lovely evening - if a little ambitious as a pre-schooler outing. Still the free tickets we'd been given seemed to outweigh the 9:30pm finish.

It was the boys' first visit to a circus and they were transfixed by the music and lights. They ooohed and aaahhed and applauded wildly as we watched clowns, dancers, acrobat and magicians.

Not surprisingly the illusions were a particular hit. There were gasps of awe as things appeared and disappeared. (Though I am a little concerned: do the boys now suppose that if they set fire to a box and throw a cloth over it, that 30 seconds later two attractive ladies in sparkly swimsuits will jump out?)

My favourite part, on the other hand, was the acrobatics.

Chiefly for the fact that Bargy kept turning to me and whispering Mum, can you do that too? I loved his unswerving - yet misplaced - confidence in my physical ability. Of course if you know me in person, you will vouch for the fact that I am far more Rubber Lady than Circus Acrobat.

Baa baa - ah - ah - ah

Earlier this month I took my two little city slickers on a bit of a road trip. We drove 285 kms due west: our destination, Sheepvention. If you're not so familiar with this event, its Australia's largest wool-growing industry show held annually in Hamilton, Victoria. And its heaps of fun.

Despite the bracing wind and ever-present rain, Argy and Bargy had a whale of a time. They loved meeting woolly White Suffolks and baa-ing Poll Dorsets. They admired the enthusiastic sheep dogs and ogled shiny new farm machinery. And how could they resist indulging their passion for splashing through puddles and falling in gloopy mud? A good time was had by all (I managed to fit in a spot of shopping in one of the trade marquees - at the delightful My Poppet).

On our return home, I wondered what the boys had enjoyed most. The sheep? The tractors? The mud? Hmmm, lets see ...



Nope. Apparently it was the Gala Wool Fashion Parade. See? They have started installing aluminium foil "lights" on their catwalk.

Thankfully it seems their inspiration lies with the kids who presented Hazel Green's beautiful collection (and not the buxom lasses modelling black sequined hot-pants and dancing to a bit of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance*).

* Apologies to fans of the song about the title of this post.

Time for an upgrade?

When quizzed about the game they were playing, Argy and Bargy told me they were speaking to each other on Skype.

Do you think I should tell them that if they get the latest version of the Skype software, they won't need to draw each other's picture on an Etch-a-Sketch?

Trying

With Mr HB away for three weeks, I've been encouraging the kids to really pitch in and help around the house. Of course, in our household there is a fine line between help and hindrance.

Take 3-year old Bargy, for example: here is his version of making the bed. Ah, see how he is trying? And I do mean "trying" in the sense slowly-sending-me-bonkers-by-putting-the-mattress-on-top-of-the-bedding.

(I am much too afraid to ask for help with dinner).

May the clotheshorse be with you

There's really nothing more satisfying than a quick garment-making project.

Take this stylish bias-cut cape, for example. It was drafted, cut, fitted and finished in virtually no time at all.

(The famous model is apparently retraining as a Jedi Knight)

Make a wish

As the refrains of Happy Birthday concluded and the knife touched the cake, a small voice interrupted the all-important wish.

Wish for a duck, suggested Bargy.

So sincere apologies to Bargy's auntie, who may shortly find herself in the possession of a waterfowl instead of a tropical holiday, sports car or lotto win.



I made these cupcakes to accompany a magnificent birthday cake from Arnold's Swiss Cakes. The kids got the cupcakes; the adults the Sacher Torte. The children are still none the wiser about the injustice.

40th birthday cupcakes
250g (½lb) butter, melted
1 cup caster sugar
4 eggs (I used an egg replacer, which works very successfully)
2 cups plain flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
4 tablespoons cocoa powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
6 tablespoons milk

Preheat the oven to 160ºC (325ºF)
Place the dry ingredients in a food processor and pulse to combine
Add the butter and process until combined
With the motor running, add the milk
Spoon into 12 large paper patty cases and bake for about 20 minutes

Buttercream
75g (3oz) cocoa, sifted
300g (⅔lb) icing sugar, sifted
1 teapsoon vanilla
125g (4½oz) unsalted butter
125g (4½oz) white shortening*
Edible decorations

Beat the butter and shortening until fluffy
Beat in the cocoa, sugar and essence until well combined
Ice cakes (I piped the icing) and decorate

* In Australia, you could try Solite which is a commercial product available from cake decorating stores. Crisco, a shortening produced in the USA, would also work very well.

Monty

Sketch of adopted feliney friend.
Ink & aquatone pencil* on watercolour paper.

* In those shades that escaped the great preschooler Derwent annihilation of 2010. The one that occured shortly before dinner. And proved the complete solubility of water soluble pencils. All I can say is thank goodness Monty is ginger and not chartreuse or magenta.