Hoppo Bumpo (n): A children's game. Played by folding one's arms and hopping on one leg. Aim is to bump opponents, so that they lose their balance. Last person standing wins.

January 16, 2009

Re: Application for garden makeover

Dear Extreme Renovation Makeover Blitz for Gardens,

Please consider me for your forthcoming television season.

I enclose a picture of our backyard, which I recall once comprised a manicured lawn and ornamental garden. I'm not quite sure what happened. I only looked away for a minute to do a bit of sewing and turned back to this. Can you explain this phenomenon? What is it called?

Anyway, I'd be quite chuffed if you could send round some people.

Perhaps a rangy bloke with a dog, who will barrow in 4 tonnes of new soil and take off his shirt in the sun (pphhwwooarrr). And a gal who will bring new plants and use suspect botanic names like gigantea nudiflorum. And maybe a theatrical chap, who make the whole thing look like a Balinese garden, with a water feature and something a bit thatched.

Of course, I'd be equally happy with someone who could tell me how to get rid of the weeds. That is, making use of something that won't annihilate the ankle-biters or the pet residing on the other side of the fence (the rowdy, barky one that makes noise at all hours). On second thoughts, just take the kids into consideration.

Thanking you in advance.

Yours faithfully,
Hoppo Bumpo


  1. The lawnmower worked well over here on our hillbilly yard. One minute weeds, the next lawn. OK, just don't look too carefully at what the lawn is actually made up of......:D

  2. When they are done at your place I wish they would come to mine.

    I hurt my back earlier this week weeding. I think the message was to outsource that part of gardening!

  3. Oh and can I come over for a lemonade and watch these men work???? Can I bring my camera as well???

  4. You and me both! I'm all for the mowing over the undergrowth though - excellent idea...

  5. We could do with a bit of garden renovation rescue here, too... or at least a few shirtless blokes who lift things.

  6. You forgot about the obligatory family sob story....

  7. Hehe, thank you for the laugh - I needed that this morning!

    Because I'm a good person I'm willing to rent out my younger brother for hard manual labour, just to help you dear Ms Bumpo. If he starts giving you sass I've found the best thing to do is just give him a whack with the bristly end of a straw broom and he'll get back to work quick smart. Your yard will be looking groomed again in no time!



  8. Thank god it's not just my place that needs blitzin.

  9. ROFL. My back garden could probably rival yours until DH finally got to mowing it last week. Each time I go to the back to hang the laundry I tell him a 1 yr old could get lost in the weeds!

  10. Love it!

    We have no garden to renovate, but I wouldn't mind a nice shirtless man or two around...

  11. LOL! You are such a hoot! I'll stop by and redo your garden for you!

  12. Ooh images of Jamie Duries tanned chest gleaming in the sun are too much to take!! When he is finished can you send him to my place please... I dont have a garden but he is still welcome!


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