January 02, 2010
Warning: Puerile references to bosoms follow. (Writing of similar calibre to previous post on undies expected herewith.)
I'm not really one for new year's resolutions, but I always like to have a few goals to work toward. For example, I have a small checklist of sewing skills I'd like to acquire this year.
Let's see: there's sewing a collar on a stand. And constructing sleeve plackets. And maybe even setting lapped zippers into trousers.
But sitting prominently at the top of the list is "alter patterns to fit and flatter my body shape". My measurements are all over the place, meaning sewing straight from a pattern is about as futile as trying to buy off the rack. Alterations are not only desirable, but sadly necessary.
It appears that one of the most important techniques I need to learn is the Full Bust Adjustment (FBA). This allows you to select the size pattern that best fits your shoulders and upper chest and then alter the pattern around the bust-line.
The trouble is I am having trouble focusing on this alteration without a little blush and snicker. I don't feel I can discuss it in polite company. Its the terminology that gets me. All those high busts and apexes and the like. It sounds like we're dealing with mountain peaks ... which I guess is sort of the case when you are doing an FBA. Tee hee hee.
But can I come up with anything much better?
Chest Adjustment? No, no ... far too androgynous.
Bodice Augmentation? Too much like plastic surgery ... as in, I am just about to do a Pamela Anderson between my side seam and centre front.
How about Large Bosom Alteration? Hmm, no ... too matronly. It implies the sort of figure where a lace hanky might be poked down your ample cleavage.
And frankly Putting-In-A-Dart-To-Account-For-Your-Big-Norks is not really saying bespoke tailoring to me. No, no indeed ... that just sounds uncouth. Strike that one from the record.
So I guess its back to the FBA for now. I shall just have to have the occasional titter. Oooh, titter .... get it .... tee hee hee .... excuse me while I wipe my eyes with the lace hanky I just have handy here ...