Stand-back-and-throw: scones

For the love of baked goods: I just can't stop thinking about scones. Big fluffy numbers with jam and cream. Whether they are scones, skoans or biscuits to you, they are just plain delicious to me.

They are my first choice, my stand-by and my last resort, all rolled into one. The multifunction cake. Visitors for morning tea? Make scones. Playing in the park? Throw a scone. Birthday party? Stick a candle in a scone. No meal prepared for the children? Assure them that many other families eat scones for dinner.

I'm a scone lover; devotee; fancier. But not a purist. I am not particularly fond of that rubbing-in malarkey. I know all the great chefs tell you to stick your mitts in whatever you're preparing, but frankly for now I think the blue and green Playdough under my fingernails will suffice.

Anyway, without further ado here's my tried-and-true, stand-back-and-throw version of a teatime treat.

Easy-peasey scones

3 cups self-raising (self-rising) flour
1 heaped teaspoon baking powder
85g (3oz) butter, cold and roughly chopped
2 rounded tablespoons caster (superfine) sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon lemon juice
About 1 cup milk + little extra for brushing

1. Preheat the oven to 230°C
2. Grease and flour a tray or cover with baking paper or a silicon mat
3. Place flour and baking powder in the food processor and blitz
4. Add the butter and process until the mixture looks crumbly
5. Add the sugar and blitz
6. Combine the milk, lemon and vanilla (the milk will curdle slightly from the acid)
7. With the motor running add the milk mixture slowly; stop the motor the dough starts to come together
8. Lightly flour a board and your hands
9. Remove the bits of sticky mess from the bowl
10. Pat the dough very gently until its of an even thickness all over - about 5cm (or 2") thick
11. Cut out scones with a floured round cutter (around 6cm or 2½" diameter - I use a wine glass)
12. Place the scones on the tray - its OK to put them relatively close together so they can support each other as they rise
13. Brush tops with little milk
14. Bake for about 12 minutes
15. Cool in a fresh linen tea towel on a wire rack (cooled scones can be frozen)

Hide the food processor and stick a bit of butter under your finger nails, before serving the scones to your friends. They will be none the wiser about the shortcut.

If you're old enough to remember the Goodies classic "Bunfight At The OK Tea Rooms" - which featured some genuine scone ... er, skoan ... humour - you might like this.