A no-bake cheesecake (with free personality test)

Before I took leave of absence from the business world, I worked in corporate training - a field which is rather fond of classifying people. There were multitudes of tests and inventories for personality and behaviour.

These days - left to my own domestic devices - I have developed my own classification, which uses the CM test.

I propose that there are just two types of people in the world: those who like neat condensed milk and those who think they'd rather pull out their own finger nails than drink that sweet muck.

My theory is of course grounded in solid scientific work. Yes, I tried it out on Argy and Bargy at breakfast this morning. Indeed the CM test shows that those two boys are like chalk and cheese. "More, please" said Argy in a scene fitting of Oliver. Bargy, on the other hand, simply shuddered violently.

So this week's recipe is dedicated to those of you in the condensed milk camp. For those of you who are not, don't touch your fingernails yet - you might be pleasantly surprised. The flavour in this lovely dessert really is very subtle. This stand-back-and-throw recipe is based on one from my mum and is the quickest and easiest cheesecake that I know of.

To start, I threw a block of cream cheese (250g/8oz) into the microwave oven and nuked it for 30 seconds. Next I tossed it into the bowl of my mixer, squelched in a tin of condensed milk (375g/) 13oz) and beat the mixture on a medium setting. In the meantime I crunched up some biscuits/cookies (175g/6.5oz) into fine crumbs, sloshed in some melted butter (about 100g/3.5oz, but this will depend on the biscuits you have used) and then pressed the lot it into the bottom of a spring-form tin. Finally I added the secret setting agent, 1/3 cup lemon juice, to the mixture. (If the weather is exceptionally hot, you may also like to add a teaspoon or two of gelatine fully dissolved in a little boiling water.) Finally, I emptied the mixture over the biscuit base, evened out the top, covered it and popped it in the fridge for a few hours. I decorated this cheesecake with some halved strawberries, which I then glazed using a little warm, sieved jam. Easy and delicious.

Note: And if you ever see a woman in your workplace, purporting to be running training and holding a tin of condensed milk, you should be very suspicious.