Hoppo Bumpo (n): A children's game. Played by folding one's arms and hopping on one leg. Aim is to bump opponents, so that they lose their balance. Last person standing wins.

October 17, 2008


I have strayed. But I can explain - really, I can.

Mr Hoppo Bumpo, if you are reading this (hmmm ... like that's ever going to happen), keep your wool on - I'm talking crochet here.

A couple of weeks ago I started crocheting granny squares in earnest. A somewhat slow process, but an enjoyable one. I adore the yarn I am using. Its called Wendy Pearl Luxury Cotton and is 75% cotton. The remainder of the composition is viscose, which I assume produces the pretty little glints twisted into the fibre. Its so soft and beautiful, that I think I might be more in love with just holding the work, than the crochet process itself.

By this weekend past, I had completed 6 largish squares. Granted, not many. So at this point I either had a graceful exit (a set of coasters) or a lot of work ahead of me (an Afghan rug). I decided to press on with the rug. That said, I realised that I didn't have enough yarn.

If you read my earlier post about this particular yarn, you may know that I picked up 9 balls in an end-of-line special. Being as I'm not a crocheter, I guessed at the amount of yarn required.

Estimating the number of balls needed by weight was clearly a misguided strategy. Usually I am prone to under-estimates (e.g. Was that really a kilo of chocolate I ate? It seemed like so much less), but in this case, I think I went the other way. I've discovered that each ball will produce only three and a bit squares, which means that at around 30 squares, my sumptuous Afghan would be little more than a knee rug.

Sadly by now, I had it in my head that my future rug would be so beautiful, that it would be heirloom stuff. Clearly I am not talking from a technical point of view (all of the squares are wonky and no two appear to be exactly the same size). No, I was envisaging future generations running their hands over the rug, as they admired the soft cottony loveliness and the glint in the sunlight.

I needed more yarn.

So armed with product numbers and dye lots I started looking for additional supplies. It appeared that there is indeed a little of the West Yorkshire Wendy Pearl about. Some in Australia; more in the UK. And different colours too. Sadly none of it quite as cheap as my original purchase (especially if you factor in a £30 freight charge quoted by one online store in England). I was doing the sums and mulling over the next step, when we decided to take our road trip.

And that's when it happened. I have to blame it all on Trev.

I was visiting Hamilton in country Victoria and popped into my favourite shop Trev's Bargain Emporium. Rummaging in the back of the store with no particular purpose in mind, I spied it. The bargain yarn: generic yellow label; 62% cotton, 38% nylon. It was a funny crinkly texture and in a multi-colour palette that seemed awfully close to my Wendy Pearl. It was a bit shiny. And just $1.

I was seduced in a moment. Without hesitation, I piled the balls into my arms and hot-footed it to the counter to pay. I never considered whether I could possibly crochet this yarn up into similar sized squares. Or whether its just plain wrong to mix yarns of different compositions in one rug. I went home and started a new batch of granny squares. For two days, I loved the novelty.

But now a week on, I've realised, I don't love this new yarn like the old. I don't think its going to stand the test of time. I don't think its going to be there for me - or future generations - later. I don't want caress it and hold it up in the sunshine. And I rather have my doubts that its really who it said it was: 62% cotton? I don't think so.

Oh, I feel so cheap.


  1. This story is hilarious! I chuckled the whole way through.

    Sorry to hear you couldn't get hold of more yarn, but it's certainly made for a fun story!

    Happy Crocheting!

  2. Oh sheesh. Trev really pulled the wool over your eyes. Oh well, you flirted, and now you're on the straight and narrow. Stay faithful and you'll never look back.

  3. Oh no! what a disaster...bloody Trev!
    Do you have an old label so you can post a photo on the blog and maybe we could all do a search for it on our daily crafty travels.

  4. Oh dear... you little tart!!
    Learnt your lesson now, haven't you honey!

  5. I don't think you should of learnt your lesson, get back out there, puto n some lippy and see what shimmery creamy goodness is around the corner, just make sure he pays for the drinks this time.

  6. :) that's funny. Dont feel bad, we have all strayed like that at times. I once knitted a baby jumper and thought it doesnt matter if the wool is from different dye lots does it - I mean its the same colour - and I merrily knit away. Uh Uh - you could quite clearly see that half way down the sleeve it turned from one shade of green to another - not a good look.

  7. Oh dear, that sounds so frustrating! I'm an under estimator too. It's never a good thing when you've invited a whole bunch of people over for dinner (blush)

  8. Never ever trust someone with the name Trev.
    Ha ha ha. Your story made a great read - still laughing!

  9. Beautiful post, I love the yarn it is so pretty..I am sure you will find some use for it, maybe as a crocheted border?


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