Hoppo Bumpo (n): A children's game. Played by folding one's arms and hopping on one leg. Aim is to bump opponents, so that they lose their balance. Last person standing wins.

February 05, 2010

Continuing professional development

Audrey realised that the house did indeed look better through a Vichy mud mask

Dear Mrs Hoppo Bumpo,

We wish to advise that your 5-year registration as Homemaker is about to expire.

In order to renew your registration, you are required to demonstrate a commitment to your continuing professional development. Please find enclosed the compulsory text Better Home Making*.

Core studies for this term are Stain Removal, Invalid Cookery, Harmonious Lighting and Lovely Legs. Due to several complaints received by the board, you are also required to complete Grace And Charm.

In addition we would encourage you to undertake an elective from Hang Your Own Wallpaper, Mend A Fuse or Home Manicure.

We trust these studies will be as fulfilling as the joyous practical work in which you are engaged.


The Certifiable Board of Homemakers

* My copy of "Better Home Making" c.1950, was an excellent thrift shop find. I'll make sure I share some of its advice with you some time soon!


  1. Oh dear, I actually thought that was a picture of Hannibal Lecter!

  2. I probably will need to complete the elective on hanging wallpaper in the next 25 years and I'm sure the Lovely Legs is only for young legs. Do they have any courses in how not to burn the food and hanging washing out before it starts smelling? Cherrie

  3. I thought the same as curly pops! Wearing that mask would make any self respecting hubby run for the hills - or maybe if you wore it at dinner time he wouldn't dare ask what was on the menu!

  4. Brilliant, i'm doing non elective cooking for large families right now, just scraping through!! The mask is plain scary!! Was it suggested you do that early afternoon so you're gleaming when you husband arrives home to his slippers, dinner on the table & a stiff drink?? Imagine if you arrived home early, who would be more surprised?? Love Posie

  5. Very little of my cooking would fall into the "Valid" category, I'm afraid...

  6. scary picture o.0

    i do love reading books like that tho, sometimes worth a good laugh and the changes in attitude from then and now are amazing

  7. That mask is waaaaay too scary for a homemaker magazine! Also, is that 'invalid cooking' as in cooking for an invalid, or 'invalid cooking' as in 'your cooking is definitely not valid'? LOL

  8. I can't wait to hear more...
    You are brilliant you know that don't you?

  9. I like the text that says "she hopes to look especially beautiful later".

    Don't we all !

  10. The high school drawings are wonderful!

  11. LOL I too am with Curly Pops....I love the invalid cooking section of my old CWA cookbooks LOL.

  12. Damn! That is where I went wrong, I never completed 'Grace and Charm'

  13. Hee hee, that mask is freaky, I too thought it was from some classic horror flick. The things we do for beauty.


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