Hoppo Bumpo (n): A children's game. Played by folding one's arms and hopping on one leg. Aim is to bump opponents, so that they lose their balance. Last person standing wins.


June 10, 2009

Velcro


The directions stated "... apply liberally as often as needed"

Early this morning I awoke to the sound of hail on our tin roof. It was a loud, but not altogether unpleasant sound: the signal that Winter is well and truly here. It is generally a season I am fond of. I love the crisp air; the elegant silhouettes of leafless trees; the rain that greens the lawn; the watercolour skies at dusk.

But this year there is a downside.

You see, I am ailing with a winter affliction - my hands have dried out. Not just a little dry, mind. Ten days into the season and they are almost completely beyond redemption: parched, rough and hideously cracked. So bad, that I have become reclusive and the neighbourhood children have started calling me Hoppo Velcro Hands. And as I patiently to be saved by a kindly Avon lady called Peg Boggs, I have been considering the irony of my situation.

Just when I have time to sit at home and reclusively sew and crochet, I have discovered that Velcro Hands are in fact incompatible with most yarns and fabrics. Stick, rip. Stick, rip. Stick, r-i-i-i-i-p. Velcro is deceptively strong – a two inch square is enough to support a 170 pound person. So what chance does a scrap of quilting cotton stand?

I cannot put down the knit fabric that I am sewing with at the moment. It sticks even when I am not gripping. My crochet is catching and becoming fluffy. And worst of all? I can no longer fondle fabric. Even the shinest, satiny smooth number is met with sand paper-like resistance. All the joy has gone out of life.

I can only hope that Peg Boggs is coming soon. Preferably with a little something that promises to boost the moisture in my hands by 147%.

27 comments:

  1. Nooooo! That sounds awful! Have you tried the Body Shop's hemp hand cream? It's pretty rich amazing stuff. I've also heard that when your hands start drying out, you may be lacking in vitamin b.

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  2. I have really dry hands too, but not that dry! Poor thing. At least I can still craft! Oh, but there is really bad static everywhere, so there is certain materials I can't fondle. And I'm having to wear my hair in a bun. Ack!
    Take a trip to priceline and sample all their hand creams! You might just find something awesome!!

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  3. I have the same problem. Trying to crochet last night was a nightmare with a huge crack on the tip of my thumb. I've heard that going to be with liberal amounts of handcream on and a pair of cotton socks over your hands to help it soak in helps but I'm yet to try it.

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  4. Whoops! That was meant to say going to bed, no be.

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  5. I feel your pain! My hands dry out terribly (and quickly) in winter, and I know exactly what you mean about the velcro...very unpleasant when one can actually hear the yarn one's knitting!
    I've found that applying a moisturizing cream at bedtime - every night, without fail - is the very best preventative and (because i DO fail), solution.
    I've had as good results with inexpensive as costlier brands, which is helpful on the budget, as well. Good luck!!

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  6. Calmurid, from any chemist - it's like magic. My father-in-law put me on to it when I had dreadfully dry hands (to the point of having cracks which just would not heal) last year.

    Also, if you wash your hands a lot, do it less - I'm finding that hand sanitiser stuff (with aloe vera) is much kinder to my skin than soap and water.

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  7. I'm 52 and i've always had dry skin, especially hands. Vaseline intensive care is the best hand lotion I've ever tried. And drink plenty of water. Sounds strange, but it helps.

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  8. I hear you, I have dry cracked hands and although it doesn't look too bad it is sooooo painful! Mine isn't too bad (only 2 fingers bleeding) as it is on its way to summer here but give it a couple of months and it is hell again :(

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  9. Oh Liesl! You poor thing. That's a very bad affliction for a crafty type. Hope you get some moisture soon! XXOO

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  10. Ahh the Hail! I awoke this morning to the car covered in about 10cm of hail stones, the ground was covered and it looked like a snow storm had hit!
    Best cure for your hands is a big bout of dishwashing then cover your hands in Lucas' PawPaw Ointment (supermarkets, chemists, dept stores sell it) - your hands will be softer & smoother than a baby's bottom!

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  11. PS. I got my favicon up and running finally Liesl. It gave me a bit of grief and I somehow lost your email during the process. Very strange - wasn't even in the deleted folder. Frustrated the heck out of me and the stupid thing is that it was quite simple in the end. Just didn't know where I was going wrong. See ya!

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  12. I agree with Sherrin, The Body Shop Hemp Hand protector (which I have now applied and am typuing stupinly ,eans no mopre cracked hands. Just can't type.

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  13. I've had that too, on my thumbs mostly, and I agree about the Body Shop hemp handcream - it smells quite medicinal but it does the trick. And wear rubber gloves when washing up!

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  14. My hands are getting the same and its summer here :/ Hubby's hands are so bad he had to go to the dr and they prescribed him some cream that works well.

    "a two inch square is enough to support a 170 pound person" o.0 I did not know that!

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  15. I feel your pain. I have spent my fair share of nights wearing socks to bed over my hands covered in goop. It's embarrassing, going to shops, and running your hand down the line of clothes...and then realizing you just put runs in every garment you touched. Oops. :p

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  16. Who knew there were so many people with dry hands! I do too (actually dry skin all over) and have had them catch on fabric, yuck. I've used urederm from the chemist, it's cheap and pretty good.

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  17. I'm a fan of Udder Cream from the local wool and craft stores. Not as greasy as some and works a treat. Best cream for hands ever. Good luck!

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  18. Don't know if you really want more tips but....Lansinoh cream is my tip for repair. I bought it to use when I was breastfeeding bubs..didn't help that but heals cracks overnight on hands. Once you've fixed them, buy some Moo Goo or Udder cream and use it after you go to the loo and wash your hands. Little bit, often. Hope it works.

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  19. Thank you very much for all the tips, everyone. They are very much appreciated!

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  20. oh this is terrible! i hate that!!! it will pass soon enough!

    Winters over here rip your hands up too!

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  21. I get crazy dry hands as well...I was reading your post & think "I'll have to leave a comment telling you about the body shop hemp hand cream".

    I see you have already had that suggestion already so I can only reiterate. I like it as it rubs in well, does not leave a really oily residue (if you leave it a few minuted) which is important if you want to be handling fabric/yarn without leaving big oily patches.....one note though, no licking your fingers!

    Also a bit of extra virgin olive oil rubbed in well before bed really helps.

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  22. That is just too bad - I have/had a similar problem in the past and Melaluca has a lotion called Renew (made with tea-tree oil) that works REALLY well! I use it once a day - twice a day in the winter and haven't cracked since!!

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  23. I'm trying not to laugh, really I am, but you're just so funny! It really must be awful.

    In addition to the the sage advice above, I'd also suggest guzzling the essential fatty acids...

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  24. you poor possum. pawpaw cream lathered on at night and pop on some of those cotton gloves and try and keep them on all night. reckon too you might need to consume some chocolate !!!!!!

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  25. Oh I am exactly the same - to the point where my hands bleed...its awful...try sewing dance satin with hands of Velcro....I so totally sympathise!

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