Hoppo Bumpo (n): A children's game. Played by folding one's arms and hopping on one leg. Aim is to bump opponents, so that they lose their balance. Last person standing wins.


January 05, 2010

Wanted: something that really sucks



Dear Messers Hoover, Wertheim, Dyson and Miele,

I wish to bring an important issue to your attention.

I understand the cyclone tunnel, upright barrel, cordless central backpack vacuum with nine foot hosed telescopic crevice wand is probably state-of-the-art.

After all it does pick up bowling balls without losing suction, should I happen to spill a bag of them on my floor.

But what of the simple things? How about thread?

I would like to see a vacuum that sweeps and beats without being lassoed and strangled. One that avoids the high pitched mechanical whine so synonymous with motor burnout. Something that avoids regular and somewhat unsavoury topsy-turvy surgery using a stitch unpicker.

We sewers need something that allows us to suck with confidence.

Yours sincerely,
Hoppo Bumpo

23 comments:

  1. I had to take a screwdriver to mine last month and pull the whole head apart. Amazing how much thread it could hold...

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  2. It seems we are all in agreement!!!
    We bought a vacuum cleaner with a power head to pick up all the dog and cat hair (and thread) - the head died last week, the motor just fried, blasted built to last 5 minutes, crappy electric appliances!!!
    By the way, how is the car working with a tank full of paint? I was ROFL when I read your comment on Jodie's post. :-)

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  3. oh yes ohe yeasee! Mine - suggested by choice goes to some super high pitch scream after a few threads get wound up and it sounds like we are at NASAA head quarters! I am just waiting to hear if anyone has a good one!

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  4. a little hand held dustbuster works well to get all the thread :)

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  5. If you find one, I hope you will highlight it in a celebratory post with flags and possibly confetti!

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  6. OK I have no life.
    That said, I have found using a - needless to mention new - cheap toilet brush to "sweep" around my sewing area before I vacuum. It works amazingly well, and I have also found it scratches up all the dust and gunk that catch in the runners of sliding doors and aluminium windows. I picked up this tip from an American list - credit where credit's due, so just call me (NOT) Martha!

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  7. Ha ha ha! I totally agree - I use the shop vac in my craft room - it gets that bad.

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  8. I have two words for you: Ducted Vacuum. I started to go on and on about the virtues of my ducted system here but it was starting to become a novel and didn't want to take over your comments section, so I blogged it instead :) Link: http://thecraftgypsy.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-may-have-answer.html

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  9. I totally agree. I have a Dyson but it still doesn't pick up the threads unless I loosen them from the carpet first. If I have to bend down to do that I may as well pick them up

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  10. I'm with you!!
    So sick of unravelling it from the super-powerful-motor-head-doovy-watsit!

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  11. I love your posts, they are a guaranteed smile puller!!

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  12. I'll sign that letter!

    (Although I already suck with confidence, without the aid of a vaccum cleaner. And no I don't mean that in a dirty way!)

    A smile-inducing post as always :D

    Holly

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  13. I feel your pain, my studio floor is carpeted!! I used the hard floor attachment on the Dyson first, then the all singing-all dancing carpet head, seems to make both of us much happier. My carpet is threads galore as i just can't seem to get them all to float towards a bin!! Love Posie

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  14. Maybe we should all go on strike and not use or buy vacumn cleaners.....

    I always have good intentions of putting my little cut off threads into a pile so I can simply plonk themn into the bin, but it's so much damn easier to just drop them on the floor and deal with them later!

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  15. I recently acquired one of these due to the cats. It also picks up thread!

    that's a double win, right there.

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  16. I've just been having a lovely time catching up on your blog... excuse me now while I stalk your comments pages... lots to say...

    Love this! I thought it was just me and my new and shiny, not totally cheap, but not hugely expensive either vacuum cleaner... On days when I'm really movitated (read: extremely rare), I take to the carpet with packing tape before getting to it with the vacuum cleaner.

    Now... if we could just get one that will not only pick up threads, but will do it automatically, silently, while we sleep :)

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