October 12, 2009
Warning: children are a health hazard (Blogtoberfest day 12)
In these litigious days, its a wonder that child-raising texts are not obliged to warn of the true dangers of having children. Does anyone recall the chapter in Benjamin Spock's classic Baby and Childcare that discusses parental injuries?
No.
There have been many accidents since the arrival of Argy and Bargy; from the relatively minor (rolling down the stairs atop a Matchbox car .... who-oo--ooaaaa) to the more serious. The injury list includes a broken toe (accidental stomp from a size 5 foot); one broken rib (overbalancing picking up a boy); the poke in the eye (deliberate) and the elbow sprain (the tricky drop-while-holding-hands manoeuvre).
And today? There was a collision with the 9.42am seat express. A train of chairs appeared out of nowhere - I honestly never stood a chance. I'm sporting a big bump and a large green bruise right smack in the middle of my shin. And it hurts ... even with the pink pony bandaid.
Parenting is a dangerous business.
Brought to you as part of Tinniegirl's Blogtoberfest - a post a day in October.
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Ouchie! The worse parental injury here has been a corneal ulcer (and not my cornea thankfully) though the kidlets also have an unerring sense of accuracy when it comes to hurting daddy in his "more sensitive area". Maybe next time you should try a Dorothy bandaid. That would definately make you feel better-or so I'm told by someone young in this household.
ReplyDeletehence why I'm not having kids, I would end up dead :p
ReplyDeletelove the pony bandaid :D really hope that heals fast, sounds really really painful
Crikey! That's some serious injuries you've sported there. I would have thought I would have something similar with 3 rambunctious boys...but the worst pain they've given me is probably a stuffed up back from hips which constantly go out. May have been from carrying two 11+ lbs babies? Most of the strain that comes from rearing my children is mental. Wish I could get a pink pony bandaid for that. ;)
ReplyDeleteOuch! Are you insured by Mumcover?
ReplyDeleteChildren are very dangerous to your health. I can't tell you the number of times my toddler tried to make sure she was an only child by whacking my husband in the delicate bits...
ReplyDeleteUpdate: this morning someone shut the lid while I looking in the toy box. I now also have a bump on the back of the head.
ReplyDeleteYou are in the wars! My Caleb often hurts me accidently, most recently jumping full force into my chin. Eye watering. I hope you get some of those healing kisses and cuddles from your Argy and Bargy.
ReplyDeleteYou should try and apply for workers compensation ;)
ReplyDeleteyikes - and dont get me started on all the nasty little bugs they insist on sharing with us! Yes I have one right now.
ReplyDeleteOuch. Tell those children to stop messing with you.
ReplyDeleteAwww. Little ones are really dangerous indeed. I hope they gave you a little kiss though, that seems to help with them too!
ReplyDeleteTry this one, carrying a small child at midnight up the porch stairs, trip on the blankie, drop child (who by the way still won't let me forget it), break a finger along with dislocating the one next to it. Ugh....they can be dangerous. :o)
ReplyDeleteHope you are making a speedy recovery!Everything is made beter by the cute bandaids that are available now:)
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! This is probably a case of Too Much Information - but the worst injury I have sustained in my short parenting career was when my 2 year old bit my nipple. Hard. There was much swearing, wall clutching and blood. Not even a pony bandaid could fix that one! It's going to be a long road ahead.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the knock to the temple or bridge of the nose with the 90% percentile infant/toddler head. It's funny that no one warns you that your kids will do painful things to you that would make you punch them in the face if they were anyone else....
ReplyDelete