Current affairs and frocks

In my home town we have two evening TV shows purporting to be current affairs programs. Apart from regular investigations into family rifts, neighborhood spats and e-mail scams, there seem to be a host segments dedicated to cosmetic surgery, diets and wonder garments. Seemingly every other month there's also the Next Big Thing in frocks. You know, the sort that supposedly flatters all figures.

Yeah, well have I got news for them. Wheel in Exhibit A (me).

I'm not quite the same woman I was four years ago. I was never svelte, but I think I looked fairly regular. Normal-ish. But two pregnancies later, my whole shape looks a bit weird. Baby No.1 weighed in at 10lb 1 oz. And during the last trimester with Baby No.2, my obstetrician cheerfully announced that the baby was going to be Huge. At about 36 weeks, bub was measuring the equivalent of 47 weeks baked. Of course it was a bit hard to be accurate, as by this time my poor tummy muscles were giving way - my abs had a separation of a hand's width between them. Mmmm .... giving way, yes. The idea of anything whatsoever snapping back in place after all this, was laughable and frankly, impossible.

So as a result, everything seems to have reshaped, resized and relocated. Which makes buying store-bought clothes demoralising. Prêt-à-Porter is clearly the French for "disappointment". I'd like to tell A Current Affair and Today Tonight, that their showcased frocks, wonder undies and uplifting bras just aren't going to cut it.

I do have a little hope, however, after my Sundress post last week. Thanks to some lovely readers, there were some great suggestions about flattering styles and even a pattern recommendation from Lara over at Thornberry. So I have taken her advice and purchased Simplicity 3867. The description on the back of pattern says simply Misses' dress, but its a lovely sleeveless empire line dress, with a gentle v-neckline. There's a slight gathering at the shoulders and in the bodice and the nicely draped skirt is A-line. It does look as if it will be very flattering. In fact the pattern itself looks pretty versatile, also including a top, shorts, jacket and bag.

So, if you're one of those people who said you'd like to find the same illusive sundress pattern, stay tuned. I'm starting a toile next week and will do the occasional post as I go, showing what the dress looks like. I know already, that I will need to make some alterations for my special figure, ahem, "features" ... but if the dress works out, expect to see me on a A Current Affair sometime in the near future.